The psychology of stuff. Are you trying to use possessions to meet your deepest needs?
The Big Question: What is the role of your belongings in your life?
This is an important question to ask yourself if you have clutter or are starting a decluttering journey.
We all need things day-to-day. Clothes to wear, dishes for eating, books for reading. We use pots, pans and utensils for cooking and products for cleaning. We have art on the walls to bring beauty to our home, photo albums for remembering. However some of the needs we try and meet with possessions are less tangible.
Six Deeper Needs We Try to Meet With Belongings*
A sense of safety and control
Showing love and affection
Expression of identity
Status and achievement
Belonging and connection with others
Healing and wellbeing
Sometimes when I work with people who are wanting help with their clutter, I notice that they are seeking to meet these deeper needs with their possessions. Both the things they are acquiring and those they are holding on to.
How Does This Pattern Show Up In How We Use Our Belongings?
Even the most basic items can be meeting multiple needs. Clothing, for example, it is for covering our body, protecting us from the sun or keeping us warm. But what we wear can also be used for self-expression or displaying status.
Consider the parent who purchases toys, books, and educational games for their child to show their love or to support academic aspirations.
Or the person who holds on to self-help books, magazines and mindfulness card decks looking for healing, or the promise of that bit of information that will change their life for the better.
The tendency to try and use possessions to meet some of these types of needs can lead to high levels of acquiring and a build-up of clutter.
Rethinking How We Meet Our Deepest Needs
Please don’t misunderstand, these are all legitimate human needs, essential for flourishing. And we do have daily responsibilities that our things help us with. However, it is helpful to take a moment and ask if buying, collecting and keeping things in high volumes is the most effective way to meet our deeper needs.
Consumer culture has a very dominant message, and it surrounds us so completely we may not even notice it. That message is: “If you have a problem, buying something will solve it”.
We have absorbed this message and so try to solve problems and meet deep needs with our things. However, often there are other ways to achieve this that don’t involve buying or holding on to items. Harness your creativity and consider other ways to show love, increase wellbeing, and express your identity that don’t involve bringing more things into your home.
Beyond Buying: Alternative Ways to Meet Your Needs:
Show love with a thoughtful message.
Connect with children by spending time in nature together.
Support your wellbeing by prioritising good sleep and eating healthfully.
Everything we own takes up some of our precious space, time, and energy. The more we own the more of these valuable (but limited) resources are devoted to managing our possessions. This can take us away from living in alignment with our true values which is also an important human need. Living out of alignment with our values creates inner conflict and dissatisfaction.
When you feel the urge to acquire an item (or the reluctance to let go of one) ask yourself:
“What need am I trying to meet with this thing?” and “Is this the best way to meet this need?”
Key Points:
The Central Question
What role do possessions play in your life?
Critical for understanding clutter and beginning decluttering
Six Deeper Needs We Try to Meet With Stuff
Safety and control
Love and affection
Identity expression
Status and achievement
Belonging and connection
Healing and wellbeing
The Problem
We use possessions to meet legitimate emotional needs
Consumer culture teaches: "Buy something to solve it"
This leads to over-acquiring and clutter accumulation
The Solution
These are real needs, but possessions aren't always the best solution
Consider non-material ways to meet deeper needs
Find creative alternatives that don't involve accumulating more items
*(for more about core human needs check out this article about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs)
Looking for more help, ideas or encouragement?
Free Download:
5 Things Creating Clutter – Resource to help you deal with common clutter causes
Related Blog Articles:
How Clutter Affects Your Mental Health: What Science Says About Stress, Sleep, and Focus.
What’s Guiding your Decluttering: Anxiety, Aspiration or Authenticity?
In-Depth Guides:
Creating Calm Spaces eBook – Comprehensive guide with organising systems and strategies ($14.95)
Home Systems Workbook – Simple activities to organise routines and reduce chaos ($9.95)
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